


Nineteen Years

by positivelystisaac



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Comforting Isaac, Human Stiles, Hurt Stiles, M/M, One Shot, Sad, Sad Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 06:12:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/positivelystisaac/pseuds/positivelystisaac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ten years in the future, Stiles struggles thought the anniversary of his mom's death. Good thing his husband, Isaac, is there. Filled prompt/one shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nineteen Years

"So," Stiles says as Isaac sits up into bed next to him. "I’m going to see my mom’s plot today."

"Of course," Isaac replies, remembering that today is the anniversary of her death. He smiles sadly, brushing a stray piece of hair out of Stiles’ eyes.

"Today is nineteen years," Stiles says, voice quiet. "It’s weird," he adds quickly. 

"How’s that?" Isaac asks, turning on the bedside lamp.

"Just… it’s been hitting me harder than usual lately," Stiles says, running his hand through his hair. "More time without her than with her, and all that stuff. I don’t know how my dad does it."

Isaac doesn’t know what to say. He puts an arm around Stiles, pulling him into his lap. 

"Are you gonna go to the cemetery with your dad?" Isaac asks, pressing a kiss to Stiles’ head. 

"No. He’s working, so he’s gonna go tonight. It’s better that we go alone, anyway. At least for today. I’m just gonna go by myself again."

"You’re not going alone," Isaac argues, remembering what a mess Stiles was last year when he went by himself. He got into a small car accident on the way home because he was so out of it, something Isaac wants to prevent a repeat of. 

"Yes, I am," Stiles says. 

"There’s no way you’re going to be okay to drive, Stiles. I know you and I know how you are when this day comes around," Isaac insists gently. 

"Isaac, please. I don’t need to be babied, I’m twenty six years old," Stiles says.

"That’s true. But I’m not babying you- I’m looking out for you and supporting you, whether you realize it now or not."

"Isaac-"

"No," Isaac cuts him off. "I’m taking you there and that’s that. I’ll wait in the car or drive around until you’re ready to go so you can be alone, but you’re not driving yourself. And that’s that," he says. 

"But-" 

"Sti, remember last year? Don’t make me call your dad," Isaac says. 

"Okay, fine," Stiles says defeatedly. "I’m gonna get a shower first," he adds. 

Isaac tilts Stiles’ head up and kisses him softly. “Okay,” Isaac says. Stiles gets up and disappears into the bathroom. When both Isaac and Stiles are ready to go, they head to Stiles’ jeep. 

Reluctantly, Stiles tosses Isaac the keys. He gets into the car, buckles his seat belt,and twirls his wedding ring around his finger nervously while he waits for Isaac to start the car.

The drive to the cemetery is silent. Isaac has one hand on the wheel, the other on the center console. Stiles doesn’t hesitate to take Isaac’s hand, interlocking their fingers for the duration of the drive. Isaac can feel Stiles’ hand trembling, and when he looks over, he sees that Stiles’ lip is quivering and his eyes are rimmed in red. What he really wants to say is ’This is why you’re not behind the wheel ’, but instead, he just squeezes Stiles’ hand reassuringly. 

They arrive at the cemetery not long after, and Isaac pulls over not too far from the Stilinski family plot. “I’ll be right here, okay?” he says to Stiles. 

Stiles nods, squeezing Isaac’s hand. He leans in and gives Isaac a quick kiss before heading out into the cold air. Isaac takes a deep breath as he watches Stiles walk towards his mom’s headstone, hands buried in his pockets. Every year, the days come around when Stiles has the anniversary of losing his mom and Isaac his. They’re the two hardest days of the year. 

This year, Stiles seems to be a little more out of it than he usually his on his mom’s anniversary. Isaac isn’t sure what it is exactly- for all he knows, it could just be that Stiles is thinking of her more and more lately. He shrugs off the thought, not wanting to dwell on it. 

He busies himself on his phone for a few minutes before looking up to check on Stiles. He sees that he’s standing about a hundred feet away from his mom’s grave, in the same spot Isaac last saw him. He’s tempted to get out of the car to see if Stiles is okay, but he knows that it’s best to just let him be alone. Finally, Stiles takes slow steps towards his mother’s headstone. He stands in front of it for a minute, hands still in his pockets. 

Then, he reaches out and rests a hand on the top of it. With his other hand, he pulls something out of his pocket that Isaac didn’t notice before. It looks like a letter or piece of paper of some sort. He unfolds it slowly and begins to read it. Isaac turns up the radio so that he can’t hear what Stiles is saying, even with his crazy werewolf hearing. He looks away from Stiles, busying himself with playing with Stiles’ keys. 

He’s startled when he sees Stiles coming towards the car in his peripheral vision. He sees that Stiles is practically sobbing, shoulders shaking as he nears the jeep. Isaac unbuckles his seat belt, removes the keys from the ignition and jumps out of the car. He walks around to the passenger side, where he makes eye contact with Stiles as he gets closer. “Hey,” Isaac offers quietly. 

"I can’t be here, We need to go," Stiles says quickly. 

"Uh, okay," Isaac says, opening the door for Stiles, who quickly gets in the car. He has his seat belt on before Isaac is even in the car. 

They drive off quickly, in silence. By the time they reach the main road, Isaac breaks the silence. “Do you feel a little better?”

"No, not really," Stiles says quietly.

"Do you want to talk?" Isaac asks.

"No, not really," Stiles repeats. The rest of the ride is spent in silence. By the time they pull into the driveway of their small house, Isaac decides to speak again.

"Is there anything else you want to do today?"

Stiles shakes his head. “No.”

"Okay. What if we just stay in and watch movies in bed?" Isaac suggests as they get out of the car, closing the garage door behind them. 

Stiles shrugs, following Isaac to the door. “Ah, shit, do you have a house key? Mine’s inside and the jeep keys don’t have one,” Isaac says, checking the jeep key ring anyway. Stiles nods, digging in his pocket to retrieve it.

He pulls out two sticks of gum, a few coins and a crumpled one dollar bill, but no key. He puts the random tidbits on the shelf unit next to the door, checking his other pocket. Instead of the key, he pulls out the carefully folded piece of paper Isaac saw him reading from in the cemetery. He looks at it for a second, his fingers starting to tremble. 

"Hey, you okay?" Isaac asks, placing a hand on Stiles’ bicep to steady him from falling off of the step. 

Stiles shakes his head, letting a quiet sob cross his lips as he steps down from the stair. “Oh, Stiles,” Isaac says quietly. He opens his arms, and Stiles doesn’t hesitate to step into them. Isaac embraces him, holding tight as Stiles cries into his chest. “You’re alright, you’re alright,” Isaac reassures him. 

Stiles cries into Isaac’s shirt, body shaking with sobs. “I can’t do this,” Stiles manages to say through the lump in his throat. 

"Yes you can," Isaac murmurs. "You’ve made it nineteen years," he adds. 

"I don’t…. I don’t even remember what… I don’t even…. I don’t," Stiles tries to say through his strangled breaths. 

"Shh, it’s okay," Isaac says, rubbing Stiles’ back. 

"I don’t even remember…. what her voice sounded like," Stiles says before another round of body-wracking sobs. Isaac feels his nostrils flare in the way they tend to do right before he cries. He bites his lip, trying to keep the tears down. He has to be strong for Stiles, no matter how hard it is. 

"And I don’t remember what she sounded like when she laughed. Or cried. Or sang," Stiles adds tearfully. Isaac is on the verge of tears- not only does it kill him to see Stiles like this, but it brings up memories of his own mother. He shoves his own memories down, focusing on Stiles. 

"I don’t even know what she sounded like when she was yelling at me."

"Stiles," Isaac says, although he doesn’t know where to begin.

"I don’t have a mom," Stiles cries. "It’s been, like, twenty fucking years of this huge hole in my life and I don’t want it anymore," Stiles says, sobbing. 

"It’s okay," Isaac says, rubbing circles on Stiles’ back. He knows this year is so hard on Stiles because of the milestones. Isaac and Stiles got married just seven months before, and just finalized plans to have their first child. 

"It’s hard to just…. live my life and not have her. To not have my mom at my wedding. To not be able to tell her we’re going to have a kid soon. It’s like…" Stiles trails off. 

"Hmm?" Isaac asks, wiping a stray tear off of Stiles’ cheek. 

"It’s like I’m missing a big part of me and …. and no matter how happy I am, I know I’ll never be as happy as I could be if my mom was here," Stiles says before burying his face in Isaac’s chest again. 

Isaac runs a hand through Stiles’ hair, holding him as he cries for the one thing Isaac’s never been able to give him. And Isaac knows that Stiles is right- no matter how happy he is, he’ll never be as happy as he could be. And as much as it kills Stiles, it kills Isaac even more.

"I want to die," Stiles says, voice muffled by Isaac’s shirt.

"Hey," Isaac says. "Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look at me." 

Stiles obliges, looking up to meet Isaac’s blue eyes with his big, wet, brown ones rimmed in red. “Today is a bad day. It is a very bad day. But tomorrow will be better, and the day after that, too. I know what it feels like,” Isaac says. “But don’t say that you want to die.”

"It’s true," Stiles says, looking down. "It would be easy. And at least I could be with her."

Isaac isn’t used to seeing this dark side of Stiles. It only comes out around this time of the year, but even when it does, it’s totally uncharacteristic of Stiles and often, the things he says really freak Isaac out. Like right now. “Don’t even pretend. You know I couldn’t live without you,” Isaac says seriously. It’s selfish for him to say, but so totally true that he thinks Stiles needs to hear it. 

"I just… sometimes, I just feel like…. almost like there’s no point of being here without her," Stiles admits tearfully.

"Think about how hard it was growing up without a mom," Isaac adds carefully. "Imagine our baby growing up without you." 

"It fucking sucks," Stiles says after a minute.

"I know. Believe me, I know," Isaac says, thinking about how much he misses his own mom. "But there are 364 good days in the year, and even though today isn’t one of them, doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t be," he smiles sadly at Stiles.

"I miss her so much."

Isaac sighs. “I know, Sti. I know,” he says, tightening his grip around Stiles as he lays his head against Isaac’s chest. 

Isaac presses a lingering kiss to the top of Stiles’ head, inhaling the familiar scent of his husband. “I love you, okay? Remember that,” he says. 

"Love you, too," Stiles says, tilting his head up and pressing a small kiss to Isaac’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> This ended really weirdly, sorry! Thanks for reading.


End file.
